Especially, not one from someone that could have been his grandmother.
Kevin Funderburk, a 25-year-old degenerate, decided he was badly in need of a woman. But he was unable to obtain one by the usual means — a problem common to the degenerate species. So he knocked on a 71-year-old woman’s door, claiming to be homeless with nowhere to go…
What ensues next what nothing short of typical creep behavior. The lady of the house was not going to have any of that.
Let’s just say that the little punk took a nasty ass whupping.
“When we arrived, he was unconscious and lying in his own vomit in the back of the house,” Moore said. “He was in the hospital in Wichita over the weekend and they stapled his scalp.”
As you can well imagine, Kevin might think twice about ever trying this stunt on any woman again. Let alone a wiser, and older woman.
The woman, whose name has not been revealed, called the police. What police found when they got there was an unconscious Funderburk lying in his own vomit in the back of the house.
According to reports the feisty woman was injured, but there are no details as to the extent of her injuries.
Funderburk was jailed on $55,200 bond on suspicion of attempted rape, aggravated battery, criminal restraint and criminal damage to property.
Just in case you are wondering what caused all the damage? The weapon of choice was a heavy culinary instrument known as a frying pan.
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Oh, Kevin is no saint because he has done this before. Come to my house turd, and see what a pack of dogs does to that mug of yours. There won’t be any breeding parts left to create another one of you.
December 27, 2010 at 7:47 am
A few more of these beatings and punks may be dissuaded from their lives of crime…
“Say What You Will…It Feels So Good”
December 27, 2010 at 8:01 am
Yes PssttCmere. He needs more frying pan time imo.
December 27, 2010 at 7:48 am
lol….singing: Kevin Got Ran Over By A Grandma….
December 27, 2010 at 8:01 am
Ahhahahahahhaahaha…we are both on the same wavelength. I was singing it when I posted as well. It just sounded right!
December 27, 2010 at 4:59 pm
You know what they say about great minds…:)~
“Say What You Will, It Feels So Good”
December 27, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Oh yes!
December 27, 2010 at 8:19 am
Good for her and in an effort to sound even remotely Christian I won’t say, “Too bad it wasn’t a .38…Oooops – I said it anyway.
The first of the year will find us at the shooting range (spitting distance from our house – aren’t we lucky?) boning up…
December 27, 2010 at 8:25 am
Woot Adrienne. A shooting range close by? That is wonderful. Be sure and make a few color copies of Kevin to take along.
December 27, 2010 at 9:45 am
hahahahaha now this article is a real xmas present!

too bad granny wasn’t packing!!!!!!
December 27, 2010 at 9:58 am
Yes, but then we couldn’t laugh at him.
December 27, 2010 at 10:05 am
I could.
December 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm
YAY Granny! I have a marble rolling pin we can use next!
December 27, 2010 at 9:27 pm
I have one humongous rolling pin. Got it from an Italian woman who retired. The thing is a monster, but a marble rolling pin? Well, that would do some serious damage. lol
December 28, 2010 at 8:50 am
It’s for pastry and pie crust- keeps the chill on the dough.
December 28, 2010 at 9:50 am
Yum.
December 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Maybe he was an Obot and thought that Granny was part of his entitlement package?
Good that she beat his ass. She could’ve gone a little further, if you ask me.
December 27, 2010 at 5:14 pm
heh, the entitlement package fell far short of its advertising, just like all of BHO’s promises: Funderburk was only entitled to Granny’s pan
December 27, 2010 at 6:12 pm
I think we should double team him. Up for it?
December 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm
name the time & place
btw Raila Odinga was just named as the mediator for the Ivory Coast situation
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12084397
December 27, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Deviant probably did think it was part of the package. Passed out in stewing in his own vomit sounds like she was fairly close to clocking the creep out.
December 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm
There is an international war against women: Islam ia poisoning the world’s well. We are our only defense. Go Granny, go!
December 28, 2010 at 7:17 am
The woman is a winner. Like most here, I wish she had finished the fool off.
December 28, 2010 at 7:43 am
Maybe Obama and his ilk should look at this woman and see that no matter how old, they can still fight for their lives. Take that “death panel” proponents! I’d hate to be the doctor who tells her that her life is not worth continuing.
December 28, 2010 at 9:50 am
Oh boy! lol