The darkest days are yet to come.  There will be funerals for those that died.  Christmas will never mean joy to the people of Newton.  This act was a manifestation of great anger, hate, pain, and so much that we cannot and will not ever know.  How many voices had Adam Lanza heard?   (He could not feel physical pain according to some of the radio reports I have heard.) Enough to kill seven year old Ana Marquez-Greene and twenty seven others.

Let their shortened lives not be in vain.  As a nation, we must heal.  A gun does not shoot by itself because there must be someone to act.  Even if Adam had not had access to guns, I do believe that he would have committed some other heinous act.

As a nation, we must look seriously at mental illness.  We must get our house in order.  Remember when the institutions let out the mentally ill in the 80’s?  I do.  I remember walking downstairs to get a coffee in NYC.  As I opened the door, a disheveled man in a hospital gown was defecating on the sidewalk.  There are many who are labeled bipolar, schizophrenic, autistic, etc.  They do not commit these crimes.  So, we ask why?  Why can they not find solace within themselves and why must hurt others?

We are a PC nation.   We want a quick fix to so much of what life doles out.  We don’t want labels, and we have high expectations about what we are supposed to feel like.  We are accustomed to a quick fix.  “We” has become all about “me.”  How troublesome to feel anxious or sad.  Where did our coping skills go?

When I grew up, life was a composite balance of opposites.  If there was joy, there would also be sadness.  It was OKAY to feel both.  Is life so difficult now, that we must escape using drugs?  We cannot continue to suppress symptoms.  We must deal with the cause of the problem.

We will learn more about Adam and his mother in the days to come.  It will probably be a picture of a mother who tried to care for a son who was spiraling out of control.  Could she have purchased the guns in order to feel safe from her son?  Maybe, she could not fathom institutionalizing her son?

This kid was unbalanced.  He was also an adult.  Whatever safety net (supervision) as a minor was gone the instant he turned into an adult.  Did his meds not work or did he stop taking them?  He was a genius of sorts.  Maybe, he had already convinced the psychiatric community that he was not a problem?  I understand that this kid was a “gamer.”   My own nephews and nieces loved to escape to the world of gaming.  It would take a breaker being turned off in order to get them off the game.

The shooting of his mother was very personal.  She was first to die.  What did the voices tell him?  That she spent too much time and attention to other children?  If he didn’t feel physical pain, why would the children that he gunned down feel anything?  Was this a game?  Somehow, Adam knew that all of this had to end.  He killed himself.  He knew that was the only way to stop whatever was happening to him.

Intense anger is a dangerous emotion.  I have witnessed confrontations where I felt that the person was a trigger hair away from complete meltdown.  I also believe that PC is the link to creating such volatility.   We have become a nation of “me” and not of the “whole.”  We will continue to witness more of these actions as long as we do not confront the truth about life by pussy footing around mental illness.  Remember Cho?

RIP

CHILDREN:
Charlotte Bacon, 6
Daniel Barden, 7
Olivia Engel, 6
Josephine Gay, 7
Ana Marquez-Greene, 6
Dylan Hockley, 6
Madeleine Hsu, 6
Catherine Hubbard, 6
Chase Kowalski, 7
Jesse Lewis, 6
James Mattioli, 6
Grace McDonnell, 7
Emilie Parker, 6
Jack Pinto, 6
Noah Pozner, 6
Caroline Previdi, 6
Jessica Rekos, 6
Avielle Richman, 6
Benjamin Wheeler, 6
Allison N. Wyatt, 6

ADULTS:
Rachel Davino, 29
Dawn Hochsprung, 47
Anne Marie Murphy, 52
Lauren Russeau, 20
Mary Sherlach, 56
Victoria Soto, 27

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